My 5yo has a boyfriend.

I have come to the conclusion that my family are nuts…totally bonkers.

The crap they come out with is truly amazing and I am taking The Hoarders advice and writing it all down.

I often wake The Hoarder on a regular basis. This sounds cruel and it is especially when I could do with a laugh. However, if I didn’t wake him he would actually sleep all day (I should add that he works nights!)

This morning he asked me to” bring them in here (the bedroom) and ask it what it was doing with the decorations at his work???”  WTF? I only asked him what time he was getting up. This is what I get every morning…some random stuff that makes no sense, him sat up and eyes open, looking very much awake…at least to me.

So I’m starting with my 5 year  olds conversation with me tonight. If I can figure out how to do it, I may dedicate a page to them too.

Big Beautiful has a boyfriend

The Hoarder insists he is moving out when the girls hit their teens. He also insists that they are not going to have boyfriends. I can quite believe that he will scare any poor lad that comes calling for either of our daughters as I have seen his Big Brother act on a poor young 17 year old who came to call for his little sister.

So when Big Beautiful told me a secret tonight as I tucked her into bed, I almost laughed my head off.

“Mummy I like Joseph, he always makes me ‘larwf'” (I swear this is how she said it whilst face palming herself!)

“That is good sweetie, you never used to get on with Joseph did you?”

“No, but I like him cos he makes me larwf by pulling faces and calling me to watch him fall over!” I’m thinking Joseph is flirting with my daughter here and he is good at it!

“He sounds very funny baby”

“He is Mummy. I think I might have a boyfriend?”  Ah No! What to say? ok Default counselling mode….Paraphrasing!

“You think you have a boyfriend babe?”

“Yeah mummy, I feel like I have a boyfriend…don’t tell daddy though” She is sniggering behind her hands…where does she get this from?

I’m doubled over by this point ” Why can’t we tell daddy? You know you can have a friend who is a boy and that is a boyfriend” Wishful thinking? I know where this is going, but I am determined to keep it innocent…to keep her innocent.

“No I think I am gonna marry him”…yeah we wont be telling daddy this. Just like we didn’t tell him that she loved Harry from One Direction and felt like she wanted to kiss him ( her exact words!!)

“Mummy, did you have a boyfriend…when you were in college?” Oh Boy!

“Yes baby, but now daddy is my boyfriend”

“I told daddy that he has to marry you”

“Did you baby?”

“Yep…he said Naghhh.” Silence “I think he meant no Mummy”

Yep, great…get to sleep….


Daddy will be woken on several occasions on a morning from now on to provide material for our entertainment…no I’m not bitter. (I am!)



3 thoughts on “My 5yo has a boyfriend.

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